Last night at around midnight I was part of a discussion at Bonanza BDSM Auction. The topic for that night was "Can you dominate in SL without using toys or tools?". It was a vry fun discussion and there were lots of different viewpoints.
It was late and I guess I was obsitnate, cause I kept arguing that, yes, it is definately possible to be a dominant in SecondLife without the use of toys or tools.
In fact I truely believe that to be correct. True domination or submission is something that comes from the heart and shows in the dynamics between people. Using a whip og spanker or whatever such object is in no way a substitute for the mental aspect of any D/s relationship, be it in real life or any graphical or non-graphical chatroom.
Anywhoo.... We had to define what Toys and Tools are in order to be able to discuss it properly. Forceme wanted it to be any scripted object in SL, but we narrowed it down to any scripted object that is BDSM or D/s related.
This means that I cannot use collars, any RLV item, sex-beds with BDSM content or anything like that. It also means that my subs arent allowed to use their collars to for example kneel. Not even the hugger that RLV collars have (dang).
Personally I think that collars in SL has become as normal as common jewelry. Therefor I do not use them myself. I allow my subs to wear them, but that doesnt mean they are "collared" by me; it simply gives them a fancy tool to do all the poses they feel they need to do in order to visualize their submission. So my first challenge in this experiment will be to teach my subs not to use the collars around me...
Today I made a sub run around my maze-like jungle island sim, serving beer to a friend of mine who was hiding. She had to remember a list of beer brands, so she could tell my friend what beers were available, find my friend, and then go back to the hut, pour the beer and find my friend again to pass him the beer.
This is part of a conversation I had with her afterwards:
Jonesey: Tell me how this made you feel... having to follow orders like that
Klaudia: I like it, Sir I have a submissive side, Sir
Jonesey: but how did it make you feel? what went through your mind?
Klaudia: oh, I felt a little humiliated
Jonesey: anything else?
Klaudia thinks and whispers "yes and excited"
Jonesey: why did you feel humilited?
Klaudia smiles softly "just by being forced to follow orders, sir. But I like this feeling, Sir"
This is a fine example to me that domination can be done easily without the use of toys or tools.